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If you're a single mom who's been holding it down alone or simply dealing with a hard-to-take ex, it's easy to get caught up in tit-for-tat dynamics. But theres a price we pay when we allow bitterness to seep in and engage in no-holds-barred power struggles. Even if the anger is justified and we believe the other person had it coming. What begins to happen is that same bitterness spirals into the other facets of our lives causing a domino effect. And sooner than you know it, it starts to dominate your thoughts, consume your conversations and pollute your spirit. It also depletes you of the desire to move beyond the animosity. It simply cost too much to be bitter. And in the end both you and your children suffer. So in the words of my good friend and colleague, Shawn Dove, Dont get bitter, get better. Here's a quick test to help you figure out if you are getting better or growing bitter.

1. When people ask you why you and your childs father are not together. You:

a.) Shake your head in disgust. Give the pay-per-view version of your break-up, including how many other women hes slept with and how much he owes in back child support. You even admit to having a voodoo doll made in his image, which you occasionally torment, whenever you need to blow off a little steam.

b.) Give the cliff notes version of the break-up with an annotated listing of his flaws. Just in case he ever applies for a job with the government.

c.) Say it didnt work out and move on to a more interesting topic.

2. The very first time you saw your childs father with his new significant other. You:

a.) Gave her the gangsta stare. Offered your condolences. Then went into your routine about what a no good son of a #$%&# he is.

b.) Felt a twinge of jealousy and made a catty comment about her outfit. After all, its not like she couldnt benefit from a head to toe makeover.

c.) Smiled politely and contemplated sending her a thank you note for taking his crazy butt off your hands. Better her, than you.

3. The first time you looked back at old photos of you and your childs father. You:

a.) Made a he-devil dartboard out of them and used his side for target practice.

b.) Ran them through the paper shredder with the rest of the trash.

c.) Put them away for safekeeping for your childs future reference.

4. If your childs father was ever late with a child support payment. You would:

a.) Tell him he could not see his child until he was paid up. Then hang posters of him in every neighborhood with the heading, Wanted Deadbeat Dad.

b.) Go to family court the very next day.

c.) Have a serious talk with him about the importance of being consistent with child support, because it assures that the children have what they need in a timely manner. Then explain if he doesnt hold up to his end of the bargain, youll have no alternative but to take him to court ASAP.

5. Your childs father shows up unexpectedly at your home demanding to come inside and see the children. You:

a.) Curse his behind out. Then, threaten to call your cousins Pookie and Big Sal to pay him a friendly visit.

b.) Look at him like hes crazy and tell him he has 30 seconds before the door hits him in the face.

c.) Tell him to wait outside or in the car while you go get the children. You let him know upfront that he has 15 minutes and the next time he comes unannounced you will not let him visit with the children. Or, you firmly but politely tell him this is not a good time for you, but he can call you tomorrow to make arrangements. Its not about denying him access to his children. Its a matter of respecting your personal space and time.

6. Your childrens father wants to take the kids on a weekend trip with his significant other. You:

a.) Tell him theres no way in hell youll let your children anywhere near that heifer.

b.) Let your children go, but encourage them to act up just enough so that he will never bring your kids around her again.

c.) Express your concerns and expectations. Discuss roles, rules and boundaries. Then send them off with your blessings. After all, you really could use a break.

7. Your childs father will be attending parent/teacher night at your childs school. You:

a.) Use it as an opportunity to trash your childs father and tell the teacher the reason your child is not performing up to par is because his father lets him watch television and play video games all day.

b.) Refuse to be in the same room with that trifling man.

c.) Call your childs father to discuss what the two of you are going to tell the teacher. Even though you are not together you still want whats best for your child.

8. Your daughter comes back from spending the weekend with her dad and his new flavor of the month. She goes on about how pretty and nice dads new girlfriend is. You:

a.) Tell her to give it a rest if she knows whats good for her.

b.) Ask if shes prettier than you.

c.) Say, thats nice, and move on to a different subject.

9. Your son who is eight years old is reciting the lyrics to rapper 50 cent Pimp song. When you ask your son where he learned the song. He says, My father and his friends play the CD all the time. You:

a.) Call his father and curse him out for turning your son into a little thug.

b.) Grab your son firmly and threaten to slap the daylights out of him if you ever catch him singing that song again.

c.) Have a firm talk with your son explaining why the song is not appropriate and why he cannot listen to or sing it. Then, call his father.

10. When you think of your relationship with your childs father five years from now. You:

a.) Hope he moves to the other side of the continent never to be seen or heard from again.

b.) See the two of you still working out the tough issues. If its not one thing, its another.

c.) Have a positive view of the future. You can even see the two of you living in the same neighborhood to make co-parenting a little easier.

Scoring

*Bitter Baby's Mama (Mostly A's) If you responded with 5 or more As, you are officially a card carrying member of the bitter babys mama club. You could probably stand to benefit from a little anger management. Im not saying that youre out of control, but you do make Leona Hemsley look like a girl scout. You may think that youre only hurting your ex by being spiteful and playing the vindictive game, but in the end you are only hurting your child. How? By fuelling the flames of animosity, you create a deeper wedge between you and your childs father, and this makes co-parenting more difficult than it has to be.

*Baby's Mama With Baggage (Mostly B's) If you responded with 5 or more Bs, I wouldnt say that you are bitter, youve just got an extra bag or two that youre still carrying around. You are definitely no Cruelella, but youre no Mother Theresa either. While you dont gear up for battle over the tiniest, little infraction, it doesnt take much for you to get out your heavy artillery either. Whats important for you to keep in mind is that every action has a boomerang effect. And the surest way to have a bomb dropped in your direction is to keep the battle going. Give yourself credit for the strides you have made thus far. More importantly, try to keep the focus of your interaction with your ex on doing what is best for your child. At times it might be tough, but you can do it.

*Wise Single Mom (Mostly C's) If you responded with 7 or more Cs, congratulations, you are a wise single mom. Many of us could benefit from your knowledge and wisdom. Either by trial or by error, you have come to realize that being spiteful is a complete waste of time. All you want to do is keep moving forward and enjoy the view while youre moving. Your motto is, live and let die, because you know that the best revenge is to live a full and joyful life. You are more concerned with building a high quality life for yourself and sowing seeds of success in your child than plotting up ways to get back at your ex. Keep up the good work.

Excerpt from Cassandra Mack's book in progess for single moms.

Cassandra Mack is the CEO of Strategies for Empowered Living Inc., host of the online talk show "The No More Drama Hour of Power," author of six books. Her most recent book is "The Single Moms Little Book of Wisdom," available at: http://www.amazon.com For more information about Cassandra Mack go to her company website at: http://www.strategiesforepoweredliving.com

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor; nor do I play one on TV. As a matter of fact, I don't even watch the actors, who play the doctors on TV. I am a researcher, extraordinaire. I research, "the research."

Health statements made by this writer have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, mitigate, cure or prevent any disease. Nor are they intended as medical advice and should not be used for the purpose of self-diagnosis. Consult your personal physician regarding all medical problems and concerns...

There's more fat around the bellies of American men women and children now, then there was 20 years back.

What's up with that?

The truth is, there are a multitude of theories and reasons which address our battle with the belly. My aim is to focus on one, probable cause; and then share one, dynamic solution.

Let's begin with a review of Anatomy 101. The colon. The colon is also known as the large intestine. It is a long, muscular tube, about six feet in length that orchestrates the digestive process. As you chew your food, your body releases enzymes that help with digestion. When your food reaches the stomach, the process continues and, the body's digestive juices break it down even more. After about an hour or so of this, the stomach deposits your food into the small intestine.

After several hours of being in the small intestine, the undigested waste, is transported into the last section of the colon where it is eventually eliminated.

Most adolescents have little problems eliminating waste from the colon. This is because there is very little undigested waste sticking along the lining of the colon walls. However, the typical American diet is loaded in fats and enormous amounts of protein which have a propensity to deposit left behind, waste in the colon. As such, it's during your post-adolescent years that the interior of the colon walls gradually become smaller and smaller.

Imagine a pipe accumulating years of interior rust. This causes a narrowing of its original diameter. Well, this is pretty much what happens to your colon over time. That is why there may be more force required to eliminate fecal matter. Elimination is supposed to require little effort. However, because your colon's walls are lined with debris, you strain. "Straining" is indicative of a blocked colon.

A blocked colon leaves food behind to rot in the digestive tract: Therefore, the final process of digestion is not completed. The debris then rots and candida albicans, bacteria and toxins take residence. Food which is undigested in the colon contributes to colon cancer. John Wayne, the world famous western actor, died from complications of colon cancer. It is said that he had more than 40 pounds of undigested food in his colon.

Mucoid plaque consists of the layers of mucous and rotting food which compact themselves year after year along the entire length of the digestive tract (Anderson). But here's the thing, this plaque forms in the intestine and continues to produce mucous as a normal response to the undigested food. Food is not supposed to just sit there and rot. Our body is designed to store three meals at any given time (Jensen), but most Americans are storing six to twelve! Mucous is not powerful enough to move the toxic, enzyme-free sludge left behind from fake, chemically-laced and high-processed foods such as, "wieners," "supreme burritos," and double orders of chili fries.

However, as a natural defense mechanism, your body continues to produce more and more mucous. This causes the colon to grow in diameter and create the appearance of belly fat. So, if you are doing dozens of crunches and other "ab work" and can't seem to lose the belly fat, it's probable that you have undigested food rotting in your colon.

In his book, Cleanse and Purify, Dr. Richard Anderson documents what another medical doctor (who requested anonymity) shared at a seminar:

"I have spent twelve years working in the field of post-mortem diagnosis. I have seen many thousands of dissected cadavers. What Rich is telling you is the absolute truth. Everybody has it in there. We have a way of attaching a hose to the upper intestines and with the aid of powerful chemicals, we literally blow the stuff right out of the intestines. I have seen the heavy 'beer belly' and so called fat people lose all that bulk in five minutes. It wasn't fat. It was the mucoid layer that Rich was talking about. And, in that filthy substance we see all sorts of worms, bacteria, fungi, and many unidentifiable things. It is almost unbelievable that people can live with that filth in them. All these people were dead of course, and it wasn't hard to see why" (Anderson p2-46)

Unbelievable!

A VIABLE SOLUTION FOR A PROBABLE CAUSE

Colon hydrotherapy- is a powerful enema performed by a licensed professional. It has an immediate affect and flushes out old, putrefied food and debris from the colon. Many doctors have stated that rotten food can be removed with this hydro-cleanse.

Maintenance:

Reduce or completely eliminate white dressings, ice cream, processed sugar, candy and creamy soups.

Increase the fiber in your diet. Make broccoli, beans, fruits and nuts the norm.

And finally, exercise and drink plenty of clean, fresh water throughout the day.

It won't be long before you begin saying:

"What happened to my belly fat? Oh, I had enough of that!"

References

Jensen, Bernard ---Empty Harvest

Guyton, AC, MD ---Textbook of Medical Physiology

Martin, Simon --- Intestinal Permeability

Anderson, Richard, MD --- Cleanse and Purify

Fran Briggs is an author and motivational speaker. She is also the President of The Fran Briggs Companies, an organization dedicated to the personal and professional development of individuals and groups around the globe. The company's personal development website offers a free, exciting twice-monthly newsletter that helps you live a happier, healthier and wealthier life. Please visit http://www.franbriggs.com and http://www.dwjd.info for more information.

There are two measured elements that determine your internet connection speed. they are: The download rate, and the upload rate of data measured in bits per seconds. Usually, it is expressed in Kilobits per second.

A bit is the smallest piece of data that can be stored in a computer. The bit can be either "0" or "1". The byte is eight bits. Example of a byte and bits are the following:

bit= 0 or 1

byte=8 bits

1 byte=10011101 (eight bits)

A single charcter needs one byte or eight bits to be stored in a computer. So, when the data rate is 1 byte/sec, that means one character per second is the rate at which data is transferred through your connection.

This is very slow, and only intended for an example. In order to browse the internet, you must have at least a dial up access with a 56kb/s modem, in order to get a meaningful and practical result.

There are different types of internet connection. first they introduced the dialup connection using your phone line, then the broadband was introduced.

The broadband internet connections are dsl, cable, or satellite internet services. they are widely used and expanding due to the high bandwith.

When you get an internet service, your provider states that your speed will be a certain numbers. they usually give you a good idea, but not an exact one. The common asked questions among internet users is:

How do I know what is my connection speed, and if I am getting what I was promised?.

If there anyway I can test my connection, and do I need to buy expensive software to test it?.

The answer is simple. There are two ways to test your internet connection speed:

1- The manual simple calculation test that you can do yourself without any software or third party services.

2- You can find a service that lets you run a test through their servers, and get your numbers displayed at their webpage.

1-The manual method:

Since I mentioned that the connection speed consist of two numbers, the download and upload speed. So, what you do is download from the internet any free software, and watch the result box with the result that show the size of the file and how many seconds it tool to download.

When you are done recording the download speed, upload a file of a specific size (1 Mb, 2 Mb), and time your watch when you start. When the file is uploaded, check your watch and record the time it took for the task. Then divide your file size by the seconds it took.

If you file was 2 Mb. that took 5 minutes to upload, then your upload speed is 2 Mb./300 sec. or 6.826 Kbits/sec.You can run the above test couple times, and then take the average for a better result.

2-The automated test at a third party service:

This is my preferred one, where you get to a website where the test is done for you. It is done using a script installed on their server, and letting you download and upload to their server a test file (invisible to you). Then, the result is displayed on their webpage. You just have to register for free using your email. It is free. This is a website address where they offer you a free internet connection test:

http://www.visualware.com.

In summary, don't settle for numbers given to you by your services, do the tests whenever you can. You enjoy it, and feel that you are getting your money worth. This is because some servcies charges you 35 dollars or more for a high speed internet service.

Thanks,
George Chamoun

I have created an ebook about troubleshooting procedures for dsl, or cable connection problems. You can get it for free by right clicking the link and saving to your computer:

http://www.ebookfreestore.com/software/ComputerEbook.pdf